The Bovine Patch Chronicles Part II: Post Op Hospital Days

Steve kept his promise. I woke up, painfully & slowly, with wires, tubes & machines swinging off me everywhere. I know I fought them to get rid of the oxygen tube, I have extremely vague memories of weakly gesturing for them to take it out. I don't remember them actually doing it, but they finally did which was good because the next time I came to I was vomiting. Obviously I had nothing in my stomach at that point so it was just bile but oh my, it was horrendous. I was barely awake, spewing onto my chin & down my neck while the nurse grabbed a sick bag & told me to support my chest through the heaving by hugging a towel. I'm thankful I don't remember much of all this, just waking up every so often for another spew. I remember demanding to know what pain medication I was on. They told me it was Fentanyl & I immediately demanded that they change it. Fentanyl makes me vomit & I am allergic to most anti-nausea medications - not a great combination. Eventually, my medication was changed to Endone. I woke up sporadically from then on but remained mostly unaware for the rest of the day & night. Mum recapped the conversations she had with the nurse when she called the ICU to see how I was doing. Apparently my brain to mouth filter malfunctions when I am drugged up & coming out of general anesthetic; I told the nurse to leave me alone because I needed to sleep when she was trying to do an ECG at one point. Thankfully, the nurse found this amusing & not just me being super rude... Apparently I had multiple phone conversations myself with Jake & Mum.

I have very little recollection of the following days. I was still in ICU for the majority of Saturday. I could barely eat despite the nurses best efforts to get me something I would enjoy. The physio & nurse wanted me to get up & walk but I was too dizzy & weak to stand or walk on the first couple of tries. I eventually managed something like 6 steps before I was planted in a seat where I fell in & out of sleep. Jake was with me from late morning until they moved me to the ward late in the afternoon. I don't recall much other than the wheelchair ride from point A to B which felt more like a ride in a rally car.

To me, cannulas are horrifying on a good day & at this point I had a catheter for my bladder, a central line catheter in my neck (going into my jugular vein - YUCK), two drains in the top of my stomach, two pacing wires also going through the top of my stomach to my heart (like a temporary pace maker), a constant ECG monitor (5 wires stuck around my chest & stomach to little sticky pads), a vacuum wound dressing over my sternum which was connected to a pump & oxygen through my nose. Just gorgeous, as you can imagine.

I was lucky enough to have lots of visitors on Sunday, Jake, Mum, my brother, sister-in-law, niece & a couple of friends ventured in through the day which was lovely but I was terrible company, still dopey, dropping in & out of sleep at times & with the catheter removed early that morning, I was in & out of bed to the toilet what seemed like every 15 minutes. Boy, that was a process. I was probably the closest patient in our room of four to the toilet & it took an enormous amount of time & energy to do a wee. Getting out of bed for a start was incredibly more intense that I was prepared for. I had to support my chest by hugging myself as I was pushed up out of the bed, then, navigating all of the cords, tubes & wires & trying to wheel the shitty IV pole all of 5 paces to the toilet, get on & off, wash my hands, get 5 paces back to bed & get back into the bed (another fun adventure of sitting & leaning a specific way, so the nurse was able to help me not use my arms to bear my weight).

So far things had been okay, if I wasn't completely out of it, I was relaxed enough to just chill out in my bed or on my chair. Then Monday came & it was the worst day possible. My central line, where my Endone had been available at the push of a button had been removed. The pain probably would have been fine had the doctor prescribed a bigger dose per day, unfortunately it took the whole day of me complaining to nurses & finally seeing the doctor to say my pain wasn't being managed properly before they checked my chart & promptly apologised, upping the dose. On top of that was normal bodily functions that were not so normal - going to the toilet to do either a one or a two was the worst - I felt like I had a urinary tract infection without the pain, just a constant need to go that was never sated no mater how often I went. The other side of things was the same, feeling the need to go but nothing happening. As you can imagine that was uncomfortable. This particular day was also the worst for staffing. There simply weren't enough staff to see to the needs of so many patients. As one of the needier patients (Still unable to get myself out of bed, reach things & go to the bathroom unassisted) that constantly needed to go to the toilet, it was painful to press my nurse assist button & not be seen to for 10 minutes or so. I was super thankful when my sister & Mum arrived, not only for the company but for the help. They gave me a bird bath on the bed because I was too weak, tired & sore to have a proper shower & fed me some lunch. It was on one of the trips to the bathroom where I had a meltdown & begged Mum to stay with me for the rest of the day. I fell asleep after that when I was finally allowed more pain medication & from sheer exhaustion. I woke up to find Mum still with me which was a massive relief as the trips to the bathroom started up again. I can't remember how many times I got up to go to the bathroom but it was a lot & the last time I spent something like 10-15 minutes just trying to go. I finally gave up which was not the right call, because I ended up going as I went to sit back in my chair. In a moment of complete horror, I looked at my Mum & I'm sure my face said everything. Mum was able to grab a nearby nurse who promptly & discreetly cleaned up the seat while Mum got me into the shower. The nurse took the time to explain how common it was, with the combination of pain killers & softeners it's hard to tell when anything is actually going to happen. She offered me adult pull-ups as she further explained that it was likely to happen again. I eagerly took her up on it, preferring to have any further accidents contained. Thankfully it remained a precaution & I didn't shit myself again 😏

Tuesday was a better day in the slow upward climb to getting better. I felt more awake and able than before & even managed to have a shower after the disturbing removal of my pacing wires & vacuum dressing. Finally free of the IV pole it was much easier to get around. On the doctors rounds, they let me know they would likely be sending me home the following day which was a scary surprise. They wanted to do another chest X-ray & echo-cardiogram which turned out to be horrendous; the sonographer spent a good deal of time leaning on & therefore pulling at the stitches in my right drain wound. The nurse had to pull the stitch tight again *gag*. Mum & my other sister came to visit through the day which was lovely & since I was no longer connected to machines & able to wear normal clothes, Jake brought Charli along for his evening visit. It was the first time I had seen her since the night before the operation & the longest time I had ever spent apart from her before. It was horrible to not be able to cuddle her properly but she sat happily in the chair next to me & ready 10 Silly Wombats over & over while Jake & I reminded her to use her inside voice every few minutes. To keep Char occupied, I got her to take me for a walk around the nurses station - something I had only been able to accomplish earlier that day, very slowly. She made herself famous, waving & giggling at everyone she passed; the nurse from my room rewarded her with a chocolate.

Wednesday came & I was cleared to head home, big sis had come to pick me up but it took forever to get properly discharged, which meant waiting in the Transit Lounge for an hour & a half. I started to get pretty anxious sitting there, I'm not sure why but it was a god-send when the pharmacist finally arrived with my medication & I could leave. After such a gross few days in the hospital, it was exciting to be in the comfort of home and begin the next stage of recovery.