Sunday evening I received news that my cousin, Corey had passed away.
After a long battle with cancer he had let us know he was in palliative care only 10 days before he was gone. Although logically I knew that meant there wasn’t a lot of time left, the finality hit hard.
We weren’t overly close. We sent each other messages on social media every now and again, about books, nerdy things & my favourite was always the Happy Birthday messages that took place one day after the other. He’d message me on the 21st & I’d reply that I’d chat to him tomorrow & I would, on the 22nd when I wished him his own Happy Birthday.
After finding out Corey was in palliative care I reached out & we had a short chat & I’m so, so glad we did. Despite the distance there was always adoration & love.
What I found was the series of feelings and thoughts following the news of Corey’s passing were so much more confusing than I had anticipated. Sadness is obvious but guilt & anger were right up there. I was actually unsure any of the feelings were valid considering the lack of contact. As I worked through these things over the next few days I also read post after post & comment after comment from all of the people in Corey’s life. From old high school friends & current colleagues, to a beautiful daughter-in-law & the love of his life.
While the sadness persists, the guilt & anger have disappeared, leaving joy and most of all pride. To see so many people honour and love this mountain of a man who was so, so gentle. There have been many joyous anecdotes, loving memories & just a genuine outpouring of love that can only come from being a beautiful human, which Corey was. And I could not be more proud of my big cousin & happy that his strength, positivity, generosity & kindness is still being shared amongst all of us that are still earth side.
I hope, my cousin, that you are with your Dad, that there are heavenly MMA matches & plenty or nerdiness for you to enjoy while you watch over you beautiful family until you’re all together again.
Love & adoration for you always, your littlest cousin x
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