Woolworths Meltdowns, Timely Santas & a splash of Divine Intervention

Today is they day before my 28^th birthday. It is the first day of a two and a half week holiday from work. Leading up, my plans for the day had changed again & again. As of early this morning it had become a day to get some stuff out of the way to enjoy said break. On the top of my agenda was the GP. For those of you that have known me long enough, you will know the extensive issues I have had with breast lumps & menstrual cycles – basically all things to do with being a woman.

So today, being completely sick of the benign but ever painful lump that resides on the side of my left breast, that has kept me up a few nights this week alone due to its size, location & aching; I went to deal with that shit. I was told at March’s scan that if it continued to grow & cause me issues they would look into removing it – just as they did in the same spot almost 3 years ago. Surgery is not an issue for me. Been there, done that, basically my boobs look like Sally’s from The Nightmare Before Christmas & I have to fill out those forms before EVERY scan noting where my scars are & I have to go at that with crosses like there’s no tomorrow. In terms of the periods – well basically since I’ve had Charli my body has been like – “do you like PAIN & losing copious amounts of blood each month?” Apparently I said yes – long term problem being my iron levels & general wellbeing. I was feeling like crap for the vast majority of my time & have tried many different avenues to resolve the issue. My current treatment involves hormone medication & iron infusions. It has helped in some aspects but is certainly not a long term solution. Thankfully the grander plan is to have a hysterectomy – I am currently on a wait list & should be called in for the procedure in the next 12 or so months. Exciting – I think so. Having racked up quite a few different things at the GP visit; a radiology request, 2 prescriptions, a pathology request) I also asked if I could have some results from a random echocardiogram I had recently had sent to the office. I’d had it requested by a random GP I has seen about a viral flu who told me I had a heart murmur. News to me.

Eventful GP visit over, Mum, Charli & I made our way to the local shopping centre. We ran some errands & began our grocery shop. As ALWAYS, you go in to get 5 things and holy shit you need a bigger trolley. As such, when I rounded the corner of the frozen food section, heading into the last leg of the shop – butter, yoghurt, deli & the check out, I was keen. Get me out of here. My phone rang at this point & I checked to see who was calling “Mt Warren Park Medical Centre” displayed on my screen and my very first thought was “Bloody hell, they won’t send my results I’ll have to go back to the GP near work!” I answered & it was not any of the lovely receptionists that had called, it was the GP herself. Now I love this GP, hey – absolutely gets straight to the point. “We’ve received the results from the echocardiogram & you have an abnormality” My gut didn’t drop, just a slight flicker on my worry-o-meter. I was like “Ok… am I ok, should I be worried?” By this time Mum is watching me like a bloody hawk but I’m just casually getting Jacob’s yoghurt off the shelf. The GP says “No.” slight weight lift, until “Look, the results show that you have a hole in your heart which means you will need to see the cardiologist & ultimately you are going to have to have surgery.”

So, that weight came crashing right back on down & there went my stomach through the floor. The edge of the yoghurt fridge became my seat as I needed a moment to gather myself a little. “The GP continues on – “I’ve made another referral to the cardiologist & you need to take the appointment when they call you. If you have any questions or need anything you come in & see me, okay?” I agreed and said thank you as I hung up. 

Now let’s take stock here for a tick. It’s 5 days before Christmas, Woolies is bloody PACKED – anyone who knows Mum knows she is on me like white on rice right now – “what’s wrong!?” Mum is way up in my personal space & I barely choke out the basics just as the doctor had said them. It appears Mum is still comprehending as I try to regain my feet. We kinda just stand there, me silently but very visibly crying & Mum beginning to ask questions & cry herself. All I remember saying then was “Mum that’s heart surgery – surgery on my heart.” Like heart surgery was going to be performed on any other part of my anatomy… I think anyone who wanted Yoplait Yoghurt at this point just moved right along.

Now I’ve started to panic a little & we all know how that goes so I say to Mum, “I’ve gotta get out of here, let’s just go.” I make my way past the deli, heavy & numb, still silently bawling. I see the fancy cheeses & remember I had tried a new one at my work birthday afternoon tea just yesterday so I try to find it as tears stream down my face. Charli has clued on that something isn’t quite right “You sad?” “Mummy crying” “You okay Mummy *nodding*” I’ve picked a cheese but I’m not sure I can make it any further. Mum says I should ring the doctor & go ask more questions now. I know that clinic is always super busy & tell her I have Buckley’s of getting in. As we discuss what to do next, a random lady approaches us. I know I’m visibly upset & feel hot tears splash down as she says “Excuse me.” I think she is going to check I am ok but instead she simply hands Charli a gift bag – inside is a tub of playdough & some chocolates. To Mum & I she hands a sealed envelope each with a candy cane sticking out & says “Merry Christmas – there is a coffee voucher in each card – you should go have a coffee & a relax while she plays with the toy in the bag” If I wasn’t audibly sobbing before, I was now & if this poor woman wasn’t into hugs, well… I dove on her & told her this was exactly what I needed right now. She told me she had been in the same place last week – her friend then ventured over & hugged me as well.  It was a gorgeous moment, contrast amongst a very scary, confusing & surreal one. What beautiful humans, to set out to make other people’s day & not knowing a single thing about me or my day, showing such kindness & generosity. If anyone knows these beautiful ladies that were playing Santa at the Beenleigh Marketplace today, please say a massive thank you. They have no idea how much they lightened a very scary moment for me.

Onwards we forged – Mum called the GP & got me in… we had 20 or so minutes to now get our crying, shell-shocked asses through the CHRISTMAS BUSY check outs, to the car & back to the GP. No worries mate. Insert the poor bloke who was in front of me at the check outs. He happened to turn around & was confronted with a still silently crying me. He awkwardly smiled & done a very quick about face. Poor bastard was just there for Christmas Ham.

We made it though - with time to purchase a cold bag from the Coles next door to the GP because, Oh shit we have cold groceries in the car on a summer’s day…

The GP was wonderful – taking the time to explain to me what was on the report & answering all of my questions. Basically, the surgery is a must. The more time that passes the more stress & damage my heart will go through until it will eventually expand & I will be in a world of trouble.

The surgery itself – I have to wait & do more tests to see how intrusive it will be. It could be as “simple” as a probe going in through an artery in my leg (sooo not the horror images I had when the words “heart surgery” had flashed in neon in my brain initially). The tests will also show if this had been a long term thing (from birth is actually quite common). Having had Charli & surgery as recently as the past couple of years, I am amazed & slightly scared that this was never picked up on before. Another question to ask the cardiologist…

So. Yeah. After shaking off the initial “oh my god” of this news & speaking with the GP again, I have become quite calm. I am 100% aware of how lucky I am that this was randomly happened upon before time could do more damage to my heart. I am also on the lean toward divine intervention. TWO upcoming surgeries that could have been seriously dangerous in my condition & I would have gone under none the wiser. I am incredibly lucky.

Knowing I will absolutely shit bricks when it comes time for the actual surgery, I am taking comfort in the fact that this is vital to my long term health; that this surgery is common & that medical technology is so advanced. I am assured that I will be fine. I still have knocking knees.

So peeps, get your GP to have a listen in to your heart every now and again - The quicker the find, the better the outcome.